Sebastian Smythe.
Twenty-one years young.

“If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater."


A Year in the Life || A Rough Timeline.

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Mess I Made || Seblaine

blaine-at-juilliard:

He got the news through a rather excited Tara shrieking into his ear when he called her that morning. All he heard was: LowKey, Signed, Album, Songs, band. Going. Made it. Call Landon. He called Landon and after an hour on the phone, trying to figure out if his friend was lying, it finally sunk in that they had done what was impossible. A band that came together out of nothing more than a connection had caught the attention of a record company. The first person he thought of was Sebastian. The man knew what this would mean to him. He wanted to go out and celebrate with him. He spoke to Liam briefly about his feelings, got a note of encouragement, and with that, he set off towards home. He felt butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to tell him everything. It was the nervous energy that came with his excitement. 

Stepping into the house, he bent down and pet Whisper, grinned as the kittens swarmed around him. Picking up LiLi, he kissed the top of her head and then set her off. He didn’t hear the television on, and the house was quiet. Confusing since the house was never silent if one of them was home. He walked through the house, peered into their bedroom and didn’t see Sebastian taking a nap. He wasn’t on the couch. Frowning slightly, he checked his phone and saw that yes, Sebastian had said that he was home with a friend. Sliding his phone back into his pocket, he headed downstairs and then remembered Sebastian said something about the guest room curtains. He hoped that he hadn’t gotten lost in the drapes, and pushed open the door to see if Sebastian was trying to redecorate. 

It had been an incredibly long night. Sebastian had spent the majority of it tossing and turning as he tried to get comfortable, their conversation from earlier and the conversation with Tobias echoing through his head. He’d let himself get sloppy, let himself get complacent and slip into a routine that he never should have, and now things were… complicated. When he woke up that morning he knew that something was going to have to change; and he was going to have to be the one to change it. He left a note for Blaine and left the apartment before he woke up, knowing that there was no way he’d be able to walk out if Blaine was awake and watching him go. He needed a reminder of what they were doing, and what their arrangement was. He couldn’t let himself just accept defeat and admit what they had slowly become to each other; it wasn’t in his nature. That was how he somehow found himself standing on Luke’s doorstep with a grimace on his face and determination running through him. 

After a few rounds of Mario Kart in the living room, Sebastian made the first move. He knew Blaine wouldn’t be home for hours, he tended to spend his days with the members of LowKey, and if he timed it right he could have Luke out of the apartment by the time Blaine came home. He’d been slacking on their arrangement for the past month or so and it was time for him to stick to it. He led Luke into the guest room, unable to bring himself to be with anyone else in the bed he shared with Blaine, and he shut the door behind them as they fell into bed together. He straddled Luke’s hips and replied to Blaine’s message before running his hands down the others body, mentally cringing every time his thoughts compared the two in his head. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, their arrangement had become more than just that. He’d developed actual feelings for him, and sleeping with Luke… Well, the outside observer would probably call it self-sabotage. He let his eyes slip closed as Luke leaned in to kiss him, their tongue battling for dominance, and his fingers curled in the others hair. It was only by chance that he opened his eyes, movement catching his view out of the corner of his eye, and he looked up and froze a bit when he saw Blaine hovering in the doorway. Fuck.

“What are you doing here?” He asked once he’d broken away from the kiss, his stomach clenching unpleasantly as he licked his lips. “I thought you were.. I didn’t know you’d be home so soon…”

Everybody Loves Me || Seblaine

blaine-at-juilliard:

Blaine looked around the apartment. Forty-year old lawyers didn’t dream of living in a place like this, it was too high for them to reach, but there he was, standing in the middle of an apartment that went for over five million dollars, and Sebastian brushed it off as a mere ‘investment’. Blaine knew to read between the lines when it came to how the other spoke. It was a big step, having something together, living together, falling into a sort of routine and finding that they were compatible in ways that he had never thought possible. In high school, people had seen their friendship and called it sexual, now, years later, the tension had faded and what replaced it was a sort of comfortable relationship that still managed to surprise Blaine nearly every day.  He heard his phone chirp at him, and he reached over and looked at the text. He smirked when he read it. He had a choice of being naked or waiting for Sebastian in bed. For once, Blaine left the choice up to Sebastian, and surprisingly, his lover wanted him waiting in bed with his clothes on. Blaine chuckled slightly and replied with a simple smiley face. He fed the cats, birds, the goldfish and Whisper, turned off the television and wandered into his bedroom. 

He slipped off his socks, for he hated wearing socks to bed and then climbed on top of the covers. He should stay awake and wait for the other, but he had a long day. He’d made the choice the night before to not going to Juilliard the next year and concentrate solely on his music. It meant that he needed to start scouting out venues, so that’s what he did. He walked around New York and into bars and clubs, requested information about performing and started to build connections. He sat and had lunch with one club-owner, and he ended up with his number. Blaine realized belatedly that the number was for a date, and he ruefully shook his head. Sometimes he didn’t see what was in front of his face but still, he had a good lunch, and a couple of gigs lined up for the next couple of weekends. They didn’t pay much, but it wasn’t about the money, it was about getting his name out there.  

He rolled to his side. He really needed to reconsider his six o’clock jogs, even though Whisper loved them. He pulled Sebastian’s pillow over and against his chest, resting his head on it and breathing in the scent of his partner. He thought about how Sebastian was helping Charlie and Bre have a baby, and he smiled slightly. Sebastian would be a good father. He yawned widely and felt his eyes start to close. He only slept well if Sebastian was around, but for right then, it was only a catnap, emphasis on cats as Mo and Dash jumped up, and then LiLi meowed until Blaine pulled her up on the bed and settled down with her. Then Whisper jumped up and rested his head on one of Blaine’s legs and that was it, Blaine curled up with his pets and with Dash purring in his good ear, Blaine fell asleep. He’d wake up when Sebastian got him. 

By the time evening rolled around, Sebastian was completely exhausted. Against his will, he’d been drug out of bed before noon and carted around the city by the two women who had claimed him for the day. They’d stopped at some kind of clinic on the Upper East Side, which was thankfully private, and not one that was commonly used by the public. The last thing he needed was his father catching wind of anything that he was up to and deciding to throw his two cents into the mix. If he had his way, and he hoped he would, the child that the three of them were planning on bringing into the world together would never have to meet its paternal grandparents. His Mother was barely fit to be a wife and a mother let alone a grandmother and his father… the bad blood from his childhood had carried over into adulthood and, even if he changed, there was still little to no chance that they would ever have an amicable relationship. He had been relieved to find out that they were going to be going through with an actual artificial insemination process and not a turkey baster, he cringed at the mental image of that, and had made quick work of skimming the stack of papers that he was handed and signing at the appropriate places.

He’d called Bre and Charlie the night before after he’d discussed things with Blaine to ensure that they knew what his position was on the subject and he’d been slightly surprised when they’d said they’d been expecting him to say as much. Personally he hadn’t even given it much of a thought until he’d realized that there would be someone out there with his DNA who could quite possibly never know him as anyone important in his life. Something about that seemed…wrong, and he knew that it wasn’t the way he wanted things to go. Both women had seemed fine with it and he’d agreed to sign anything they wanted as long as he’d never have to waive his parental rights. Because he wasn’t an anonymous donor, and they’d all gone into the clinic together, there were no forms to be signed that would cause him to have to relinquish all of his rights before the insemination. 

Now, hours after the process had been finished, Sebastian couldn’t help but be completely repulsed and traumatized by the entire process. It mystified him that people would willingly put themselves through these kinds of procedures but, he supposed, if you wanted a child badly enough you would be willing to do pretty much anything. By the time they left the clinic and the girls were finished dragging him from department store to department store, he was about ready to collapse. He looked down at his watch and sighed when he realized it was nearly seven and much too early for sleep, so he texted Blaine to see if he wanted anything and…made plans. It should probably alarm him, the levels of domesticity that he and Blaine had found themselves falling into, but as the days passed… the terror that had once racked him seemed to diminish bit by bit. Not to say that he was prepared to jump into an actual relationship, or establish any kind of commitment, but the idea of it wasn’t quite as terrifying as it once had been. With a little smile on his face he popped into Walgreens and picked up the soda and some pretzels, hesitating for a moment by the registers before snagging a cookies and creame bar and adding it to his pile. Once he had all of his things put into a bag he left the store and flagged a cab down to take him home, not feeling like making the trek to Brooklyn.

He passed the cab driver a fifty when they pulled up outside of his house in Brooklyn, making sure he had his bags before punching the security code into the gate and letting himself in. He bypassed the garage, which now housed his Porsche instead of the parking garage like before, and let himself in. He tossed the bag down onto the counter in the kitchen and cursed when he nearly  tripped over one of the cats that had scrambled over to him to greet him when he came in. “Loki.” He said with a shake of his head, giving the cat a little pat before setting him back down on the floor. “Where are the other hellions?” The cat simply meowed and scampered away from him so he figured he wasn’t going to get much of a response and headed up the stairs. 

He paused in the doorway to their bedroom as he shook his head in amusement at the sight of Blaine curled up on the bed with a menagerie of animals surrounding him. He slipped his coat off and tossed it on the desk chair in the corner before crawling into bed beside him, giving Whisper a little nudge to get him off of the bed. The kittens, without fail, always tended to follow him so if he got Whisper out of the picture they wouldn’t linger long in the bedroom. He propped himself up on an elbow as his fingers reached up to rake through Blaine’s curls, a smile creeping up on his face as he sighed softly. He didn’t have the heart to wake him up, not when he looked so…peaceful. Instead he shifted his weight a little so he could kick his socks off before wrapping an arm loosely around Blaine’s waist, curling up next to him as he stifled a yawn and pulled the blankets up. He would never be able to sleep comfortably in jeans and would probably end up waking in an hour or so, and then they could carry out their intended plans for the evening. And if not, there was always tomorrow.

No One Else is Watching || Seblaine

blaine-at-juilliard:

Nervous and terrified, Blaine knew that this was the first time that he had performed for years. This was something different than high school, he knew that if he didn’t do well, it would affect Tegan. He shifted from foot to foot. He had seen Sebastian briefly, enough time to pass him his phone, kiss his cheek and get his good luck wishes. He hadn’t spoken to the other since the night before when he was reminded of something that he had started to forget. Sebastian Smythe didn’t do relationships and no matter the ‘exceptions’ that he made for Blaine, Sebastian Smythe would never belong to just one person.

He shook his head, getting rid of those thoughts when he heard Tegan making her announcement, letting everyone know that he was the opening act for the larger bands that would be up later. He smiled a little when she called him ‘her boy’. There was something in that act of possession that always made Blaine feel better. He wanted to belong with someone, wanted someone to want him, and while Tegan was always going to be his dear friend and nothing more, her words were greatly needed at that point. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, calmed himself and at the end of the introduction, he walked out on stage. He was dressed simply, but still a little different from how he normally did. Jeans that hugged his body without outlining everything were draped with a green button up shirt of Sebastian’s. His hair was left ungelled but slightly styled so that the curls looked barely tamed and would be mussed and messy by the end of the night. His nails had been painted in different colors, his hazel eyes had been outlined in black eyeliner, making the myriad of colors in his eyes stand out even more fiercely, and someone had convinced him to put his small hoop earring back in his right ear. Amitiel had done his job and then some.

Reaching out and taking the microphone, Blaine closed his eyes again. This was the first time that he’d been in front of a crowd alone. He wanted to do nothing more than run and forget about this, but it was for Tegan and more than that, it was for himself. It was a step in the right direction, a step beyond waiting till he knew that the crowds would be less so he could go running or refusing to go out with friends. So while he was absolutely terrified, the grip on the mic shifted and his body relaxed. He was born to do this, born to perform, and he wasn’t going to let anyone keep him from that.

The first three songs were slower in nature, meant to allow people to come in, get their drinks and talk. It was still a club afterall, and he was just an opening act. The fourth song was where he was going to start having fun, for while it was a nightclub, it was one of the premier nightclubs in New York City, and it was his job that night to rile up the audience and have them begging for whatever he could give them. Now was the time that he had to get their attention. The song that Tegan had picked to do that was the ‘quintessential’ song for her Nightclub.

For Your Entertainment —

He knew the song, everyone did, but that didn’t stop him from tweaking it to fit what he wanted it to do. He knew that Sebastian was in the crowd and watching him, he had promised, afterall. So, he kicked it up a notch higher. He moved his body and commanded the stage. The energy that had him restless at home was to his benefit when he sang. It was more than hitting the notes, it was leaning precariously over the stage, barely out of reach of the crowd. It was moving his hips, and promising pleasure with every twist and sinful dip. He wanted this, performing for everyone.

But he knew that the true lead-in to the next performer – Lien and his Cerque, was the last song. Tegan’s club was known to push the boundaries and while Blaine’s final song was tame in comparison to what Lien would do next, very few people would think that Blaine Anderson, the dapper gentleman from Ohio, would sing such a song to people who were already clamoring for whatever he’d give them.

When it’s late at night and you’re fast a sleep / I let my fingers do the walking/ I press record I become a fiend/ And no one else is watching/ I let my fingers do the walking…

The thing was, he and Sebastian weren’t exclusive. There would be no jealously from what he was going on stage, Blaine’s hand travelled down the shirt that he had borrowed from Sebastian, his fingers undoing button by button as he sang, the shirt fell off his shoulders, exposing the tanned, toned chest of the former-warbler. His jeans sat sinfully low on his hips, the sharp ‘v’ of his hipbones shown as his hand smoothed over the front of his pants. He grinned and winked, playfully sticking out his tongue before he ran a hand through his hair, further messing it. At the end of the song, he looked thoroughly debauched. His face was flushed, a light sheen of sweat on his body, as his shirt hung off his arms, his eyes were bright, his chest rising and falling quickly before he waved to the crowd, introduced Lien and his Cerque, and hopped off the stage, so that he could head backstage and get a glass of water and find his clothes so he could get dressed and head home.

As Sebastian waited for the subway at the station near their apartment, he was genuinely worried that he was going to be late for the show. He would check his watch every few seconds as he paced the length of the station, letting out frustrated huffs every time a train pulled in that wasn’t his own. He had about 45 minutes to get to The Vic before Blaine went on and while he knew that Blaine would forgive him if he was late, or missed a song or two, he would never forgive himself for not being there for something that was so important to the other man. This performance was about more than just getting his foot in the door when it came to performing live at real venues outside of high school; it was the first time Blaine would be encountering a large crowd of people ever since the incident. Sebastian had promised he’d be there so it was imperative that he got there on time so that he’d be able to see Blaine before the show and wish him luck. Liam had suggested bringing flowers but he’d decided against it; he wasn’t the kind of person who just went out and bought flowers for someone. Finally, half an hour later, he was getting off the Subway and making his way to the Vic. 

He hadn’t really considered how he was supposed to get past the bouncers at the door until he got there, swallowing thickly when he realized that the two guys standing by the door could probably squash him if they wanted to. He gave them his real ID and explained the situation, relieved when his name appeared to be on some kind of list and he was let inside and directed towards the backstage area. He found Blaine within a few minutes and got his phone and wished him luck, not having time to do much else, before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and heading to the viewing area that he’d been instructed to go to. It was weird being at a bar and not being able to drink but he figured it was worth it to be able to see Blaine perform, so he didn’t focus much on it. They hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk much about what had happened the night before, or the fact that Blaine had essentially met the man he’d fucked last night, but he figured that the talk could wait until later. He wasn’t used to feeling guilty about his transgressions, especially since the rules were in place so that wouldn’t happen, but he had a feeling that the fact that the churning feeling in his stomach from the night before had carried over onto the next day was probably a bad sign. He pushed away all of his thoughts and worries when the lights dimmed and Tegan took the stage to introduce Blaine, feeling a little second-hand nervousness for the boy that was about to take the stage. 

He smiled as Blaine took the stage and wrapped his hand around the microphone, a surge of pride washing over him as he watched him sing the opening number. It was evident that Blaine was destined to be a performer, you would have to be blind and deaf not to see it. He threw his everything into the performance and it was intoxicating to watch. He couldn’t help but notice how incredible he looked under the house lights as he sang, the slight sheen of sweat against his forehead making it look as if he was shining just a little brighter than normal. He licked his lips as he moved into the third song, a faster one, and his ears struggled to pick up the beat and associate it to a song that sounded vaguely familiar. His jaw dropped a little as his eyes went a little wider, swallowing thickly as he shoved his hands in his pockets and watched him. Blaine was sexy on a good day, incredibly so, but watching him up there on stage? He was… completely overwhelming. 

And if Sebastian had thought that FYE was something to see, he’d been nowhere near prepared for his closing number. At first his brain couldn’t quite keep up with what was happening, his jaw slack and his eyes wide as he watched Blaine’s hands toying with the button on his shirt. His shirt. It was as if the entire number was designed to ignite every single nerve ending in his body, and send him tumbling into a pit of desire and longing. Was Blaine having that effect on everyone, or just him? One look around the room made him quite aware that it wasn’t  just him, and a surge of something he couldn’t quite identify ran through him as he licked his lips. Feel free to look, but he’s going home with me. 

When the set was over Sebastian made his way backstage to wait for Blaine, bouncing on his heels as he leaned up against the siding of what looked like one of the dressing rooms. Everything was a little hectic backstage, but he knew that when Blaine got off of the stage he’d have to come back to get changed before heading home. When he spotted him he came up from behind him, coughing to clear his throat as he tapped him on the stage. “Blaine Anderson…” He said with a smirk, wrapping his arms around him from behind as he let his hands press against his stomach. “Can I just say…I am a huge fan. And that was incredible.” He leaned in a little to press a kiss against his neck as he pressed up against him from behind, wanting him to know just the effect that his performance had had on him. “I definitely wasn’t expecting that, but you left quite the impression.”

follow the rules || sebastian [closed]

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Darkness Comes at Dawn || Seblaine

blaine-at-juilliard:

There was tension in the air that had built for over a week. It was the incoming storm and all things terrifying. Blaine wasn’t sure how he managed to sleep at all the night prior, since Dash hadn’t wanted to leave his spot curled up on his chest, and the young man hadn’t the heart to push him off. He knew that today was the day that he and Sebastian went for Sebastian’s test results. The news that Sebastian could be HIV+ was lifechanging in and out of itself, but now they were going to find out if he had it. The sudden look into his friend’s mortality had shaken Blaine more than the young man cared to admit, but he had promised that he was going to treat him normally, and he made sure that he did that, as best as he was able to. He knew that Sebastian didn’t want to go, the promise of the beach was something that he had brought up in hopes of diverting Blaine. Yet, it had to be done. They had to go. 

Blaine dug through is dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans and found a rumpled t-shirt in his clean laundry pile and picked it up. He looked in the mirror. The bruises on his body had finally faded, the stitches in his side were nearly gone, the cast on his arm was coming off that day, and other than the still mending ribs and the short hair that exposed the jagged scar that ran back over his head, there was little to say that he had been attacked at all. Day by day, the physical wounds were fading, and he was left with the mental scars. Those would be harder to conquer, but he had hope. Today was the last day that he had to go to the doctor’s. It was the end of part of his journey. He paused, holding his clothes when he heard Sebastian start the water for the shower. He knew that this wasn’t easy for him, it couldn’t be. His best friend was HIV+; he was getting his results for the same disease. 

The young man walked into the bathroom and left the door open a crack. Dropping his clean clothes to the floor, he found a towel and added it to the pile, noticing how Sebastian’s clothes were neatly set on the countertop. They had different ways of dealing with things, opposites in nearly everything, but they were working on it, and people said that opposites attract. They were clearly attracted to one another. Blaine took a deep breath and winced at the pain. It quickly faded, he knew that soon enough, he’d be back to normal. he slipped his boxers off and kicked them off to the side before he opened the door to the shower and stepped inside. He reached out and touched Sebastian’s shoulder to let him know that he was there before he leaned forward and brushed his lips over his friend’s shoulder, his arms moving forward to lightly wrap around his waist. He didn’t say anything. He never put much stock into words. Words could be said and then someone could turn around and do something completely different. He was more a man of action. He rested his head against Sebastian’s back and held still for a moment. He wouldn’t tell him that he was going to be okay, that everything was going to work out. They didn’t know that; the words would be meaningless. Instead, he held onto him, his actions saying one thing: 

I’m here. Regardless of what happens, I’m not leaving you.  

After the longest week of his entire life, Sebastian was finding it hard to believe that it was finally Monday. He’d spent the majority of the night tossing and turning before eventually playing 6 straight hours of temple run until his battery died, unable to even fathom the idea of sleeping for more than a few minutes at a time. He knew that, no matter the test results revealed today, his life would never be the same as it had before the scare. Before he’d sleep around frequently, 2 or 3 guys a week, and never really give much thought to the consequence of his actions. He figured that as long as he used a condom he’d be fine, but clearly that wasn’t the case. No one was immortal, and coming to grips with his own mortality and vulnerability was something that he hadn’t been prepared to face at such a young age. He’d figured he wouldn’t have to deal with things like this if he was careful, and stuck to the rules, but clearly the rules hadn’t done him any good in this situation. 

His entire body felt sluggish as he got out of bed and searched through one of the drawers, looking for something to wear before heading into the shower. He folded the clothes neatly, knowing that all of the extra time he spent at home meant more time before he had to find out the truth, before pausing in front of the mirror and sighing. If this was the last time he’d be able to see himself as young and healthy, he wanted to savour it. He lingered for a few more seconds before hopping into the shower, wincing a little as the hot water rained down against his back. He braced himself against the shower wall with his hand as he let his forehead come down to rest against it, too tired to put much effort into doing much of anything when his mind wasn’t in it. Even if his results were negative, which he hoped they were, the fact remained that his best friend was still positive. No matter what, their entire group of friends would be rocked by this news. Nothing would ever be the same again. 

Sebastian heard footsteps coming into the bathroom and looked up when Blaine came in from behind him, letting his eyes slip closed as a set of arms wrapped around his waist. A shudder ran down his spine at the kiss against his shoulder and he pursed his lips as he exhaled shakily, slumping forward a little as Blaine held onto it. Knowing that Blaine was there, and that he’d be there even if things went south, was more reassuring than he’d thought it would be. It made him grasp at something that he’d long ago given up on completely; hope. He let himself think, just for a minute or so, that maybe things could be okay. That they’d go into the hospital, the Doctor would say he was fine, and they’d move on with their lives. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen, regardless of what the news was. He’d never be so careless, or reckless, ever again. Not if this was what the consequences would be when he slipped up. He turned around after a minute or so and wrapped his arms around Blaine, fingers pressing lightly below his ribcage, as he offered up a small smile. 

Things might not be okay, but he knew that they would be eventually. They would just have to take it day by day; one minute at a time. 

We are Young || Seblaine

blaine-at-juilliard:

It felt good to get out of the apartment. He had been feeling claustophobic. He couldn’t stand to think that he was going to spend the next six weeks staring at the same walls, afraid to go outside in case he met up with those men again. He knew from Sebastian’s text messages that something was wrong. Whenever something was on his friend’s mind, he always ended up in Times Square. So, it was to Times Square that Blaine went, box of mozzarella sticks in hand. They spent a few hours there, Sebastian refusing to speak about what was bothering him and instead spent most of their conversation diverting the topic to something else, most of it under the guise of not wanting to worry Blaine. 

It ended with Sebastian asking about Coney Island, and Blaine getting a sinking feeling in his stomach. He had told his friend that he wanted to conquer his fear of heights, and his fear of ferris wheels in particular. He didn’t think that he would be doing that tonight. He had his usual excuses in his head as he stood up and grabbed his bag, putting it over his shoulder. Yet, the look on Sebastian’s face was one of determination and something that the young man couldn’t put a name to. Blaine had a feeling that it would be best if he tried to get on the ride. He reached out and put his hand on Sebastian’s arm, giving him a slight smile. It wasn’t much, and he knew that it wouldn’t help anything, but he didn’t like seeing Sebastian upset, locked so deeply into his thoughts that his responses seemed to have a double meaning that Blaine couldn’t grasp. 

They arrived at the park, and Blaine smoothly stepped in front of Sebastian and paid their admittance fee. It was the first night that they were open and there were a lot of people there. Blaine winced when someone brushed past him, not out of pain but out of a brief memory that surfaced. He cleared his throat, made no excuses or explanations and instead put his hand on Sebastian’s arm. He looked skyward and saw the Ferris wheel. It wasn’t the kind that had a circular seat. It was the normal sort of Ferris wheel. The chair with the bar across the lap, with the words ‘do not rock’ proclaimed in big letters across the back. Blaine swallowed hard, and looked at Sebastian. His hands were shaking as the ride moved forward, but he had promised that he was going to get over his fear, and he was going to try his best. He ducked around Sebastian and settled so that he was seated so that he could hear Sebastian. Out of morbid habit, he looked around for seatbelts, knowing that they didn’t have any. When the bar was lowered down and locked into place, he looked at where it locked, on Sebastian’s side. He knew that he had to stay calm. He could do this. He wouldn’t fall. He saw how excited a six year old was to get on the ride and he had to resist the urge to stick out his tongue at the child, such was his maturity at the moment. He gripped the cold metal bar tight with his good hand and stubbornly closed his eyes tight. 

Without a doubt, Sebastian was willing to classify the day as one of the worst that he’d ever lived through. With Liam’s news and his own fears plaguing his thoughts, he was slightly relieved that the day seemed to be looking up. He knew that he was worrying his friend, that Blaine wasn’t used to seeing him so off, but he was doing everything he could to keep it together. When the topics of conversation started getting too heavy, and he was thinking too much, he couldn’t help but remember their plans to go to Coney Island. Spending the rest of the night riding rides and walking around the fairgrounds was just what he needed to take his mind off things, and he was glad when Blaine agreed to go.

He reluctantly allowed Blaine to pay for their tickets as they entered the grounds, instinctively stepping a little closer to Blaine as they made their way to the ground. In his head, the only thing he could think about was Justin’s first venture into public after his bashing in Queer as Folk. As someone who’d never experienced anything of the like, that was the only thing he really had to go on to try to figure out how Blaine was feeling. He gave his hand a quick squeeze as they got into line for the Ferris Wheel, paying for their tickets as they got into the seat. Sebastian leaned back a little as he pulled his legs in, grumbling about how small they were as he sighed and looked over at Blaine. He looked absolutely terrified, and Sebastian couldn’t ignore the jolt of guilt that ran through him at the sight. “We don’t have to do this.” He said after a moment of silence, motioning for the conductor to wait as he looked over at Blaine. “You can still get off if you really want to.” 

breathe in, breathe out || sebastian (& liam)

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nothing and everything || sebastian

In which Sebastian gets the call from the hospital, and reacts.

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Hit Me With Your Best Shot || SeBlaine

blaine-at-juilliard:

The night after Blaine and Kurt had broken up had started out to be one of the worst nights in Blaine’s life, discounting Sadie Hawkins and numerous nights where he went to bed crying because of his father’s words. Yet, he ended up watching bad television shows with Sebastian and ate so much ice cream that he thought that he was going to burst. He fell asleep in his friend’s bed, desperate for another’s company that he hadn’t been embarrassed over sharing the bed with Sebastian. He woke up with his head resting on Sebastian’s chest and one of Sebastian’s arms tossed over him. It felt comfortable, and he vaguely remembered the feeling of the other holding onto him. He realized that he must have done the same thing after he and Sebastian had gotten drunk and fell asleep in Blaine’s dorm. 

Tonight, things were going better. He’d laughed more and cried less. He went shopping for Mo and ended up getting some food to last them until they could start having their food delivered to them. One day at a time. Their evening was ending with breakfast for dinner and Blaine putting on his guilty pleasure ‘Dance Moms’. He laughed as Mo kept jumping up on the coffee table, seeming hellbent on getting to the whipped cream that was on top of Sebastian’s waffles. It seemed like whatever Sebastian was doing, the kitten wanted to be there. When he walked into the bathroom, the kitten followed. If he left the apartment, the kitten would try to dart out after him, and Blaine saw that Mo thought it was a game. Sebastian would put her inside, then she would try to run back out. 

Blaine reached out and grabbed for the whipped cream and picked it up as Sebastian mentioned the mess that the kitten was making as she tried to get the whipped cream. In answer, the young man aimed and shot off a stream of whipped cream at Sebastian, laughing at the other’s incredulous expression. Blaine wasn’t always the perfect gentleman. He didn’t want to always be the one that was in control. Sometimes, he liked having fun too, being a bit spontaneous. He gasped when Sebastian snagged the whipped cream back. Blaine quickly grabbed for the chocolate syrup and held it up. “Don’t…” he warned, trying to sound serious but his eyes were mischievous and his lips quirked as he tried to suppress a grin. “I am equally armed and just as dangerous,” he said, shifting the bottle and preparing to squeeze it if Sebastian would try to hit him with the whipped cream. 

When Sebastian had woken up that morning, a part of him had been confused as to where he was. Not only was he surprised to find someone in his bed besides the cat, but he was also surprised at how relaxed and well-rested he actually felt. For once instead of getting up and going straight back to bed, he had enough energy to sit up and actually contemplate moving. But then he remembered the boy lying beside him in bed, and he couldn’t convince himself to get up. He knew Blaine was having a hard time with his break up with Kurt, he’d have to be blind not to see it, and while Sebastian could care less about Kurt…he did care aboutBlaine. He cared when his roommate and friend was upset and, despite his hesitation and his rules, he knew he’d do anything if it meant that he’d get to see Blaine happy or smiling when he was so upset.


He’d been looking forward to breakfast for dinner since they’d come up with the idea, so as soon as he was showered he grabbed his jacket and headed over to iHop. It was across town so he took the subway, ordering their food on the way so that it would be ready by the time he got there. He picked up their food and made his way back to the apartment, setting it all out and searching for plates as he waited for Blaine to come back from the store. He knew it should be alarming him, how easy it was to fall into a pattern of mild domesticity with Blaine, but he didn’t let himself linger on thoughts like that. He knew his over thinking could potentially ruin everything.


It came as a shock when he suddenly found himself taking a shot of whipped cream to the face, sputtering indignantly as he wiped at his eyes. That had been the last thing he’d been expecting. “Oh, it’s on.” He said with a laugh, surging forward to grab for the whipped cream can as he held it out as a weapon. He laughed when Blaine grabbed the chocolate syrup, raising an eyebrow as he smirked over at him. He was never one to back down from a challenge, and this was most certainly that. “Do your worst,” He feinted to the left before tackling him from the right, spraying some of the whipped cream into his curls as he tried to reach for the chocolate syrup with the other. He managed to  get his hand on it at one point but dropped it, cursing when it allowed Blaine the opportunity to get the upper hand on him.